Happiness

Pure happiness I am finally home still need to unpack and get everything together. But I am finally happy, spent the evening with my cookie monster and she was so excited to see me. I couldn't ask for anything more. I love her so much and everything is just right.

It kind of just suck because I left a nice summer weather to come home to fog, cold and wet weather. I might have to reconsider this move. Ummmm reconsidered nope staying home. Lol I can't believe I am here still coming to realize that I am truly home.

This is a picture that I have of my cookie monster and I. Guys I AM TRULY HAPPY!!!!! Later got to pick up the munchkin.

Distance

Goodbyes make me tear and see you later's are open broken promises. I can't bare to see myself leave such a wonderful place that I have made my second home. However, I know that I have met wonderful people along the way. I have become to see what life really means, have come to realize that everything is a fight.

As I take this ride home along, I realized what home really means. Isn't not where you station yourself or where you have the most clothes located in. But it's where the heart lays. God has shown me that I CAN BE A STRONG YOUNG LADY as well as I am a FIGHTER! I have grown so much in the time span of three years in FL. I have experienced many things along the way, that has shown me to be independent.

I humbly return home to mom and dad to apologize for my wrongs as well as making them right. I also know that my anger is something that hasn't changed but has been controlled. You see before I use to swing first then ask questions now I do neither. Now I just shutdown and ask to be alone. If you can't respect my wishes then things get a little heck. 

However knowing my family and how they think they know me this would be a battlefield. I am going to go with an open mind as well as an open soul since I am different as well as maturing every minute of the day, I will miss my second mother dearly, she is the foundation to who I am now. She has seen me when I was at my lowest, instead of walking away she extended her hand to help. Even though she had her troubles over piling on her plate, she still said I am here if you ever need me.

She heard my tears, my soul crying for mercy and my broken heart. She was my saviour little by little as the Lord Himself was working through her. I have always been the one to find ways to justify my life of why is this happening to me? Why me? What did I do? However, living with mom for the couple of months I did, I learned that somethings are better undiscovered. Somethings are better left alone due to the mere fact of if you pray about it and leave it in God's hands. He will work it out, just leave it alone and God has your back.

With that being said I leave you with this: No matter where you go, how far you are, home is where your heart lays. I am heading to my primary home but Fl will always be my secondary home. I love everyone that I have become friends and family too. You guys will always be in my heart! 

Please Leave Me Alone

Okay I will just like to be left alone. You don't know my history, you don't know me, you just see what I allow you to see. With that being said I am moving because I have bigger priorities than just school. I have a family that I left behind making childish decisions. I am maturing and growing up! Unless you are paying my bills, taking over my responsibilities, putting food on my table your opinions doesn't matter to me. Unless I ask for your two cent of opinion or I come up to you asking for advice; don't take it personally I don't want to hear it.

I have a four year old daughter that needs her mother. No one that has giving me the "evil eye" or lectures of why I need to stay and finish a term that I am not even focused on because I am stressed out, homesick and thinking about New York is paying my rent, gas, food, clothes nor is working my shifts at work. Therefore, I will do whatever I see fit for my daughter and I. She has been without me for so long and doing this summer visitations is bogus and having my parents feel some type of way is not right.

Being here for three years on my own; has made me realize I can survive on my own and that if need too I can do it in NY. It is time to go back home as well as keep getting stronger. I am a young lady that has been maturing with the grace of God as well as with the help of an Angel that God has introduce me to! She has been an awesome friend, listener, helper, and a mother figure to me, without her I truly don't know where I would be.

So please leave me alone. You don't know me, don't know my history, my life story and you are not contributing to my finances therefore your opinion is invalid. Now please clock out and go home.

Life

As life goes on and people begin to slowly walk out of your lives. You begin to notice who your true friends, family and support system really are. I have gone through so much in so much little time that I begin to think whether or not I am 22. I have seen people die in front of me, seen news where people shoot each other over who they associate with, seen where family members treat each other like nothing until it is to late.

I have been raised to treat people they way you want to be treated however people don't treat me how they want me to treat them. Why should I give them the benefit of the doubt of my kindness? Why should I be the bigger person? Why should I set aside my pride, my dignity and self-respect for someone who doesn't deserve it? The answer is very simple. Because I am ME.

ME, someone who has a heart no matter how many times it has been broken, shattered, stepped on, and even walked on. I am a person that keeps loving even though the love I am giving is my own tears and blood. I am a loving person because I have given myself to a higher power and that is the Lord Jesus Christ. I have been able to forgive people a whole lot more than I use to before